I wish I was still active on this so I had someone to answer this question. I'd post it to facebook but that could be problematic. Chris asked me this and it has me stumped and spooked. Like how do you answer this question, everything I come up with involves me and how he treats me or makes me feel. Sheesh.

He's having a baby with his ex-girlfriend. But yet I feel like I'm dying. Why would this matter? I know he's an asshole, so why am I crying. God is saving me from the train wreck that he is but I'm devastated. Why? Why couldn't he just where a fuck condom?

He got his ex-girlfriend pregnant. This hurts so much even more than the break up.

As much as I know Chris is not the one, damn it if I wouldn't do anything to make him love me again. It's like I'm doing this all without a safety net and it's scary. Every guy I meet now is some kind of defective. I just want a good looking ordinary guy that loves me, not hard.

I'm not saying I'd do the same thing but I understand the feelings Billy Joel's daughter was having.

I want to quit. If I had some reason why he did this it would be one thing but I'm still clueless.

That I'm currently sporting a bruise on my face that neither Chris or I can explain. The only thing he can think is that he might have bitten me. Thank god it's hidden in the shadow of my bottom lip.

I can't wait to see glee. I love that show.

Hey, hey first of May outdoor screwing begins today. I do it every year, you should too.

Fall Out Boy is tonight. I know next to nothing about this show because I've been out of the loop. I guess I'll see.

So, want to hear something funny. Chris called to tell me his friend was the one who tipped off the tabloids about John & Kate plus 8 man kissing another woman. But catch this, the Enquirer allegedly paid him 35k for the story and pictures. Crazy.

Also, when Chris called me he told me about this girl he had meet that started randomly texting him things like she missed him. I wanted to reach through the phone and punch him because why the hell did you give her your number and why would she miss him (what did he do with her to earn that). I mean I sort of understand why he gave her his number, she asked and they both smoke and he sells but catch the clue bus. So, I tried to act cool about it and he said he nipped it in the bud. But I can't stop thinking about it. I keep mentioning it. Yesterday, I asked how she was and told him her honing in on my territory is not a good idea and he sent me a message that he didn't know or care and that he wasn't feeding into her (he also agree honing in on my territory was not a good idea).

Oh, I met two crazy guys on plentyoffish. Like scary crazy, one has a shoe fetish and the other just is over into me.

American Idol--I got good points because Matt got voted out but I can't seem to make up enough ground to be competitive.

Okay, I admit the show is a bad idea from the beginning. The idea that a man can have women lined up and choose and they really have no say in things is disturbing. Anyway, I watch it. But last night's ending was bull shit for both Melissa and Molly. Melissa got screwed and Molly let him be a chooser. I mean she kissed him 10 minutes after he dumped his fiancee. He's an asshole. Both Molly and Melissa deserve better. This is worst than the year the bachelor picked no one.

I won $25 dollars from Marlboro for amazon.com. Score.

Oh, and Chris so under estimates me. I only play dumb on tv.

I'm mad at you but I end up apologizing. I mean I don't think I'm asking for the moon but maybe I am. Is it too much to ask for a response to a text message after 8 hours. The fact that you keep passing it off as work and I keep accepting it, doesn't mean I believe you one bit. But for now I'm giving you a pass.

Why the heck is the FOB show at Festival Pier? I mean of all places, that place is horrible for shows. The only good part is I can probably get early entry, so I can sit through all the opening acts I don't really want to see. I mean really who pick this line up. I want to see Cobra and All time low (only because I want to know what the hype is about). Not really amused. Even less amused if they charge me like $100 a ticket. Oh, and being diamond elite better get me something good.